There is always an overlapping condition that will negate certain aspects of doctrine that you have but mostly it's the choice that you make or the prior decisions that had been made for you but even then your choice is of utmost importance. It may be in the desperate situation that you allow yourself to think about whats going on and that's what is a bold, invigorating approach towards life.
It will make no sense to the outside world about the approach that he/she has taken but then it's the most feasible solution that will allow his own growth thus affecting the loved ones around him/her. Hence taking responsibility for what he/she is doing.
subjective interest for the loved ones - objective phenomenon